Letters To God

Letters To God

I was caught off-guard when you entered my life.

I was full of pessimism and cynicism, before you entered my life.

I can’t explain that connection we had, that one fateful night,

But it led to adventures, everything felt right.

The laughing the dancing the planning the meeting

The greeting the eating the holding the feeling -

Her shape and scent still haunt my visions and thoughts.

But the warmth they bring releases the coldness I’ve brought

Upon myself as I waste into time and decay.

I hear you breathe. I feel you. My name, I hear you say.

I need an escape; I cannot bear the pain anymore.

The analogies made were naïve and sore

As they took effect – but were poorly executed.

My mind screams her name, but with words since muted.

I’ve lost you now, maybe to be regained, but only time can tell

As I spiral down through temporary eternal hell.

I write to my ‘God’ now, to seek redemption, and I ask

Her why all good things must end? Why the future must become past?

Surely a secret well kept becomes a secret to share?

But a secret shared can so easily lead to despair –

I waste away into this darkness created, so bored of emotion.

No name. No recognition. Time knows I’ll show them

The error of their ways. The error of mine showing true.

My frenzied schemes were too rushed and see-through…

 ‘Get up’, ‘Move on’, ‘Better things’ I hear them cry.

Nothing ever gets easier when you begin to try -

My pen starts to move. The words unfurl into title and reasons

For writing my Letters to God; she responds with the seasons.

My ‘God’ sighs in reply and shrugs. She has no answer.

I regret what I’ve lost but relish in the keepings. The past and her

Are gone – for now; but the memories will last my whole life –

Such as the night I was caught off-guard.

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Wanderlust

Wanderlust

 

My dear, you are my adventure.

My Darkest Africa, my Orient Express,

My Marco Polo, my Columbus,

The mark of my progress.

 

My Valentina Tereshkova, my Cabot,

My Magellan, my Francis Drake,

My Cortes, my Scott of the Antarctic,

The adventures continue when I wake.

 

My Livingston, my Gagarin,

My Lewis and Clarke, my G. F. Moore,

My Xuanzang, my William Dampier,

And with this I am sure;

 

You are my wanderlust.

You are the one that I love.

You are the one that I trust.

You are the one I must explore this world with.

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Filed under Poetry, Travel, Writing

Creature Of Habit

Creature Of Habit

 

I’m a creature of habit,

But I’m bored of the habit.

Finding solace in the

Bottom of a swimming pool;

A man-made creation

Of a world I cannot inhabit.

I’m holding my breath for me

For you and for all the others.

Although I’m not sure that you’ll

Ever get my frustration,

But I’ll start fresh with you

In my self-made inhabitable creation.

You’ll learn the rules as

I learn them and make them too.

No rhyme or reason,

But that makes it more fun, does it not?

Keep your breath held and

Look up to the sun above our

Concrete water-filled land.

I’m trying so hard to look

Like I’m not trying that hard,

But I’m failing miserably

Miserably brilliantly.

I like the empty streets

I like the silence of them.

No new people to meet.

No need to fall apart.

I need them just as badly

As they don’t need me

It’s harsh, lonely, but sadly

That is all there is to see

In the world above the

Solace I find in my swimming pool.

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A Victim of Circumstance

A Victim Of Circumstance

 

I’m a victim of circumstance;

Stuck in a vicious cycle.

So of course I would leave

If I ever got the chance.

 

A rock and a hard place

Are too soft to explain

The situation I’m found in.

To be honest, it’s a disgrace

 

That anyone in this place, day and age

Feels so constricted by boundaries

With only twenty-two years down

Struggling on minimum wage.

 

What a joke – it’s barely enough

To survive on; let alone

Be classed as a wage.

 

School never taught me it would be so tough.

 

I need to break out of here

I need to be in a place that

Grabs my imagination and desires

And where I’m my only peer.

 

I need somewhere where

People don’t take life for granted

Or take liberties of the State.

I need a breath of fresh air.

 

I am going to leave.

You cannot make me stay.

I refuse to be ‘average’,

I’m not like you: so naïve.

 

In the nicest way, I really do

Wish you the best and I also

Hope you’re happy enough here.

But I’m not, so fuck you.

 

I’m going. I’m gone. Bye.

I’ve boarded my plane and

Headed to softer airs and warmer climbs

Where I will succeed until I die.

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Winning Against My Old Landlord.

It has taken me almost one year, but I finally got my deposit returned to me from my old landlord. They had not put my deposit in a legally required deposit protection scheme. After sending dozens of emails and threatening them with court action, they returned the full amount to me. 

It often seems like people will try their very best to take advantage of students and recent graduates, but people need to have a basic understanding of the law. Students are not as lazy or as naive as many think. The only thing is I feel that universities need to do more to educate students living in private housing about the legal requirements of their landlords and themselves. My old landlord did not comply with their own contract – WHICH YOU MUST READ INCREDIBLY CLOSELY – nor did they protect my deposit. In the end, the latter issue caused them to cave in and return my money to me after being threatened with court proceedings. 

This was just a short note to give a brief update on myself and hopefully remind people to read their contracts and have a basic knowledge of the law when rent is concerned. 

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Jobs

I applied for eight jobs this evening. Do I get a prize now?

Or does anyone have any information about how to make a living from writing – tips are needed please! Thank you!

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Filed under Rambles, Uncategorized, Writing

Your Writing

Your words will always be yours.

No one else will ever write your words.

Your words are yours, and yours alone.

Make your words you through and through.

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Filed under Poetry, Rambles, Uncategorized, Writing